Page 714 (18.901-937) "God Ill get... I wait always"

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God Ill get that big fan mended
make them burst with envy
my hole is itching me
always when I think of him
I feel I want to
I feel some wind in me
better go easy not wake him
have him at it again slobbering
after washing every bit of myself back belly and sides
if we had even a bath itself
or my own room
anyway




I wish hed sleep in some bed by himself with his cold feet on me
give us room even to let a fart
God or do the least thing
better yes hold them like that a bit on my side
piano quietly
sweeeee




theres that train far away
pianissimo eeeeeeee one more tsong
that was a relief
wherever you be let your wind go free




who knows if that pork chop I took
with my cup of tea after
was quite good with the heat
I couldnt smell anything off it
Im sure that queerlooking man in the porkbutchers is a great rogue




I hope that lamp is not smoking
fill my nose up with smuts
better than having him leaving the gas on all night




I couldnt rest easy
in my bed in Gibraltar
even getting up to see
why am I so damned nervous about that
though I like it in the winter
its more company




O Lord it was rotten cold too that winter
when I was only about ten was I
yes
I had the big doll with all the funny clothes
dressing her up and undressing
that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains
the something Nevada sierra nevada




standing at the fire
with the little bit of a short shift I had up to heat myself
I loved dancing about in it
then make a race back into bed
Im sure that fellow opposite used to be there the whole time
watching with the lights out in the summer
and I in my skin hopping around
I used to love myself then
stripped at the washstand dabbing and creaming
only when it came to the chamber performance I put out the light too




so then there were 2 of us
goodbye to my sleep for this night
anyhow I hope hes not going to get in with those medicals
leading him astray
to imagine hes young again
coming in at 4 in the morning it must be if not more
still he had the manners not to wake me




what do they find to gabber about all night
squandering money and getting drunker and drunker
couldnt they drink water




then he starts giving us his orders
for eggs and tea and Findon haddy and hot buttered toast
I suppose
well have him sitting up like the king of the country
pumping the wrong end of the spoon up and down in his egg
wherever he learned that from




and I love to hear him falling up the stairs of a morning
with the cups rattling on the tray




and then play with the cat
she rubs up against you for her own sake
I wonder has she fleas
shes as bad as a woman always licking and lecking
but I hate their claws
I wonder do they see anything that we cant
staring like that when she sits at the top of the stairs so long
and listening as I wait always

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