Page 719 (18.1092-1129) "anybody saw him... and children this"

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anybody saw him that knew us
I wonder he didnt tear a big hole in his grand funeral trousers
as if the one nature gave wasnt enough for anybody




hawking him down into the dirty old kitchen
now is he right in his head I ask
pity it wasnt washing day
my old pair of drawers might have been hanging up too on the line
on exhibition for all hed ever care




with the ironmould mark the stupid old bundle burned on them
he might think was something else
and she never even rendered down the fat I told her
and now shes going such as she was
on account of her paralysed husband getting worse




theres always something wrong with them
disease or they have to go under an operation
or if its not that its drink and he beats her
Ill have to hunt around again for someone
every day I get up theres some new thing on




sweet God sweet God
well when Im stretched out dead in my grave I suppose Ill have some peace
I want to get up a minute if Im let
wait O Jesus wait yes that thing has come on me
yes
now wouldnt that afflict you




of course all the poking and rooting and ploughing he had up in me
now what am I to do
Friday Saturday Sunday
wouldnt that pester the soul out of a body
unless he likes it
some men do God knows




theres always something wrong with us
5 days every 3 or 4 weeks
usual monthly auction
isnt it simply sickening




that night it came on me like that
the one and only time we were in a box that Michael Gunn gave him
to see Mrs Kendal and her husband at the Gaiety




something he did about insurance for him in Drimmies
I was fit to be tied
though I wouldnt give in
with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with his glasses
and him the other side of me talking about Spinoza
and his soul thats dead I suppose millions of years ago




I smiled the best I could all in a swamp
leaning forward as if I was interested
having to sit it out then to the last tag




I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry
supposed to be a fast play about adultery
that idiot in the gallery hissing the woman
adulteress he shouted
I suppose he went and had a woman in the next lane
running round all the back ways after to make up for it
I wish he had what I had then hed boo




I bet the cat itself is better off than us
have we too much blood up in us or what
O patience above its pouring out of me like the sea
anyhow he didnt make me pregnant as big as he is
I dont want to ruin the clean sheets I just put on
I suppose the clean linen I wore brought it on too
damn it damn it




and they always want to see a stain on the bed
to know youre a virgin for them
all thats troubling them theyre such fools too
you could be a widow or divorced 40 times over
a daub of red ink would do or blackberry juice no thats too purply
O Jamesy let me up out of this
pooh
sweets of sin
whoever suggested that business for women
what between clothes and cooking and children
this

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