Friday, April 3, 2015

Page 692 (18.66-103) "of oysters but... that way so nice all"

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of oysters
but I told her what I thought of her
suggesting me to go out
to be alone with her
I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them
the garters I found in her room the Friday she was out
that was enough for me
a little bit too much

her face swelled up on her with temper
when I gave her her weeks notice
I saw to that
better do without them altogether
do out the rooms myself quicker
only for the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt
I gave it to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house
I couldnt even touch him if I thought
he was with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that one
denying it up to my face
and singing about the place in the W C too
because she knew she was too well off yes

because he couldnt possibly do without it that long
so he must do it somewhere
and the last time he came on my bottom when was it
the night Boylan gave my hand a great squeeze
going along by the Tolka
in my hand there steals another
I just pressed the back of his like that with my thumb
to squeeze back
singing the young May Moon shes beaming love

because he has an idea about him and me
hes not such a fool
he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety
though Im not going to give him the satisfaction
in any case God knows hes a change in a way
not to be always and ever wearing the same old hat

unless I paid some nicelooking boy to do it
since I cant do it myself
a young boy would like me
Id confuse him a little
alone with him
if we were
Id let him see my garters
the new ones
and make him turn red looking at him
seduce him

I know what boys feel with that down on their cheek
doing that frigging
drawing out the thing by the hour
question and answer
would you do this that and the other
with the coalman yes

with a bishop yes I would
because I told him about some Dean or Bishop
was sitting beside me in the jews Temples gardens
when I was knitting that woollen thing
a stranger to Dublin
what place was it

and so on about the monuments
and he tired me out with statues
encouraging him
making him worse than he is
who is in your mind now tell me who are you thinking of
who is it tell me his name who tell me who
the German Emperor is it yes
imagine Im him think of him
can you feel him

trying to make a whore of me what he never will
he ought to give it up now at this age of his life
simply ruination for any woman
and no satisfaction in it
pretending to like it till he comes
and then finish it off myself anyway
and it makes your lips pale

anyhow its done now once and for all
with all the talk of the world about it people make
its only the first time
after that its just the ordinary do it and think no more about it
why cant you kiss a man without going and marrying him first
you sometimes love to wildly
when you feel that way so nice all




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