Friday, April 17, 2015

Page 721 (18.1169-1206) "is that doctor... those napkins"


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is that doctor
one guinea please
and asking me had I frequent omissions
where do those old fellows get all the words they have
omissions
with his shortsighted eyes on me cocked sideways
I wouldnt trust him too far
to give me chloroform or God knows what else




still I liked him when he sat down to write the thing out
frowning so severe
his nose intelligent like that
you be damned you lying strap
O anything no matter who
except an idiot
he was clever enough to spot that of course




that was all thinking of him and his mad crazy letters
my Precious one everything connected with your glorious Body
everything underlined that comes from it
is a thing of beauty and of joy for ever
something he got out of some nonsensical book




that he had me always at myself 4 and 5 times a day sometimes
and I said I hadnt
are you sure
O yes I said I am quite sure
in a way that shut him up
I knew what was coming next
only natural weakness it was
he excited me
I dont know how




the first night ever we met
when I was living in Rehoboth terrace
we stood staring at one another for about 10 minutes
as if we met somewhere
I suppose on account of my being jewess looking after my mother




he used to amuse me
the things he said with the half sloothering smile on him
and all the Doyles said he was going to stand for a member of Parliament
O wasnt I the born fool to believe all his blather
about home rule and the land league




sending me that long strool of a song
out of the Huguenots to sing in French to be more classy
O beau pays de la Touraine
that I never even sang once




explaining and rigmaroling about religion and persecution
he wont let you enjoy anything naturally
then might he as a great favour
the very 1st opportunity he got a chance in Brighton square
running into my bedroom
pretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off
with the Albion milk and sulphur soap I used to use
and the gelatine still round it
O I laughed myself sick at him that day




I better not make an alnight sitting on this affair
they ought to make chambers a natural size
so that a woman could sit on it properly
he kneels down to do it
I suppose there isnt in all creation another man with the habits he has
look at the way hes sleeping at the foot of the bed
how can he without a hard bolster
its well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teeth




breathing with his hand on his nose
like that Indian god he took me to show
one wet Sunday in the museum in Kildare street
all yellow in a pinafore lying on his side on his hand
with his ten toes sticking out
that he said was a bigger religion
than the jews and Our Lords both put together
all over Asia




imitating him as hes always imitating everybody
I suppose he used to sleep at the foot of the bed too
with his big square feet up in his wifes mouth
damn this stinking thing anyway
wheres this those napkins






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