Friday, April 10, 2015

Page 707 (18.629-668) "thats why I... waves and the boats"

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thats why I was afraid when that other ferocious old Bull
began to charge the banderilleros with the sashes
and the 2 things in their hats
and the brutes of men shouting bravo toro
sure the women were as bad in their nice white mantillas
ripping all the whole insides out of those poor horses
I never heard of such a thing in all my life

yes he used to break his heart at me
taking off the dog barking in bell lane
poor brute and it sick
what became of them ever
I suppose theyre dead long ago
the 2 of them
its like all through a mist
makes you feel so old

I made the scones of course
I had everything all to myself then
a girl Hester we used to compare our hair
mine was thicker than hers
she showed me how to settle it at the back when I put it up
and whats this else
how to make a knot on a thread with the one hand
we were like cousins
what age was I then

the night of the storm I slept in her bed
she had her arms round me
then we were fighting in the morning with the pillow what fun

he was watching me whenever he got an opportunity
at the band on the Alameda esplanade
when I was with father and captain Grove
I looked up at the church first and then at the windows then down
and our eyes met
I felt something go through me like all needles

my eyes were dancing I remember after
when I looked at myself in the glass
hardly recognised myself the change

he was attractive to a girl in spite of his being a little bald
intelligent looking
disappointed and gay at the same time
he was like Thomas in the shadow of Ashlydyat
I had a splendid skin from the sun and the excitement like a rose
I didnt get a wink of sleep
it wouldnt have been nice on account of her
but I could have stopped it in time

she gave me the Moonstone to read
that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins
East Lynne I read and the shadow of Ashlydyat
Mrs Henry Wood
Henry Dunbar by that other woman I lent him afterwards
with Mulveys photo in it so as he see I wasnt without
and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram
Molly bawn she gave me by Mrs Hungerford on account of the name

I dont like books with a Molly in them
like that one he brought me about the one from Flanders
a whore
always shoplifting anything she could
cloth and stuff and yards of it

O this blanket is too heavy on me
thats better

I havent even one decent nightdress
this thing gets all rolled under me
besides him and his fooling
thats better

I used to be weltering then in the heat
my shift drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom
on the chair when I stood up
they were so fattish and firm
when I got up on the sofa cushions to see
with my clothes up

and the bugs tons of them at night and the mosquito nets
I couldnt read a line
Lord how long ago it seems centuries
of course they never came back
and she didnt put her address right on it either
she may have noticed her wogger
people were always going away and we never
I remember that day with the waves
and the boats




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